Men Love, But God Is Love.

So here I am. Starting this blog not with the hopes of sharing some great wisdom, but solely to get these words out there, somewhere. Not to remain alone in my head. This may very well be my first and last, or it could be the start of something. But tonight, for some reason, I just needed to do this.

In three long short months of being married, I have somehow managed to lose my identity in Christ to find my identity in my husband. The problem here lies in the simple fact that man(kind) disappoints. So here I am left feeling alone and wanting more. Not only this, but it leaves my sweet husband feeling insufficient, and to be honest just plain annoyed with his insecure mess of a wife. I want my marriage to be more than that. I want ME to be more than that. 

Isaiah 54:5, "For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is His name..."

I absolutely believe marriage is God's greatest gift outside of salvation. So in believing that, what a beautiful picture of what my relationship with God should be. An intimate relationship between two lovers. 

Tonight, my heart is broken. I feel as if I've let down my God and my husband. But defeat is of Satan, and I will not claim it as my own. My prayer is that the Lord will capture my heart for it to be fully His. 

Jeremiah 31:3-4, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I will build you up again, and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful."

Joy, now that I will claim as mine.