This Phase of Life

I have always looked forward to the next phase of life. I graduated high school a year early because I was ready for the next thing. (I have never regretted it once) When in college I looked forward to being finished with school. Now some days I definitely wish I could go back... sleeping in, flexible schedule, friends all the time, every summer day was a pool day, puppy chow for dinner, parents paid for everything. When Austin and I were dating, I wanted to be engaged. When we were engaged, I wanted to be married. Now, here we are - renting married professionals - and I'm doing it again. I am looking for the day when we buy our first house, find out I'm pregnant, have our first baby and I can (hopefully) stay at home.

It partially stems from the fact that while I am working full-time, I feel like I'm not living up to my full wife potential. I don't grocery shop regularly, I don't make dinner for my husband often enough and laundry piles up. I can't imagine having babies and working full-time. I feel like my most important responsibility - wife and homemaker - is suffering. I want to be so much more in my home. I need to find a balance. I need help. I need suggestions! How do you balance working full-time and keeping your home and husband clean, fed and happy?

I know all of these things (home, babies, etc) are exciting and good to look forward to, but I'm realizing I might be missing out on life right were I am, here and now. I want to enjoy my husband, just the two of us. I want to take advantage of having two incomes while we can. (well, once hubby finds a new job!)  I want to appreciate our cute little rent house and not rush owning our own because that is a huge responsibility.

This blog definitely serves as an emotional outlet for me. It helps when I write my thoughts and share my feelings. It helps me see the changes I desire to make in myself.

I actually wrote this yesterday, but didn't post it until now. I already feel better. Thanks for reading.

Here's to FRIDAY!